Last Day in Bangkok

Well, it is with some regret that I prepare to return to SF and end my year of travel, though of course I am looking forward to returning to my "real" life.

I surprised myself in finding that Bangkok was indeed my favorite destination of all of the places I've been to. Bangkok was a stopover really, I just came here to rest after the long flight from SF before heading to Bali, and it was Bali that was supposed to capture my heart.

It didn't.

Instead, Bangkok reminded me that beyond the traffic jams and congestion, beyond the scams and sleaze, lies a charming, friendly, affordable and fascinating place to visit. I was reminded that I've always treated Bangkok as a stopover and never as a destination in itself and I was reminded, if I ever knew it originally, that Bangkok is a place I really want to get to know better.

On this trip more than any other, I found the back alleys, the Bangkok away from the tourist track, to be quite alluring. I found myself wanting to venture further, to explore more, but realized how limited I am by my inability to speak any Thai. Because of the well-developed tourism infrastructure, Thailand, like Indonesia, is a place where it is possible to travel without speaking the language. Also, I've been so intimidated by Thai, with its squiggly, curly, alphabet and its four or five different tones. The best I have ever managed has been to be able to say the numbers from 1-10, and from there, make a feeble attempt to be able to count to a hundred (since it's just a reordering of the names of the numbers from then on). But I always forget, and on this trip I was able to manage from 1-5, which got me through on the prices of most things, and I relearned, the names of pork, beef, chicken, and shrimp. Hardly language fluency by any means, and my awareness of how my language deficiencies limit my real experience of Thailand has made me want to at least make an attempt to learn some Thai.

Today has been a day of rest, and also a day of simply enjoying the pleasure of Bangkok on a Sunday.

After breakfast, in order to vacate my room for the maid, I went to Silom Road for a 2 hour massage at Sabai Thai Massage, the place I had such a good massage yesterday. Two hours cost 400 baht - about $12.

I think maybe I've been overdoing it with the massage. While I love the stretching and they feel so good, Thai massage involves a lot of pressure as well, and I was beginning to feel sore in some of the spots that have been pressed over and over again this past week. I am also dealing with this sore throat that I think is coming from sleeping in the air-con (it is worst in the morning when I wake up), and I think I might be a little tired from all of this travel. But still, the massage was great. While there are a lot of questionable massage parlors all over Bangkok, the ability to walk down the street and get an amazing Thai massage for anywhere between $6-12 is something I am really going to miss. If I can find Thai massage in SF it will be at least $60, and the quality may not be anywhere near as good as it is here.

After my massage, I went to Soi Convent for a bowl of noodles. I had some last night and they were really yummy. I have not indulged a lot in street food on my trips to Bangkok. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it is always so hot. But I was feeling quite relaxed after my massage, and a little chilled from being in the air-conditioned massage room for 2 hours, and it was actually a nice day here, not too hot or humid with a nice breeze blowing.

I had to walk up and down both sides of the street before I found a place that served what I wanted. Since I could not read any of the lettering on the little signs, and since the vendor I got my noodles from last night was not out yet, it was a bit of a mystery to me what so many people were serving. Again I was reminded that my experience of Thailand is very limited to those places that are geared towards foreigners.

Eventually I did find a place and pointed to the noodles I wanted (thick rice noodles) and the minced pork. I said pork, and the woman working the stall said in Thai "moo", which kind of sounds like a cow. I wonder why pork is moo and not beef. Anyway, I confirmed, "moo", though I realized my pronunciation was not nearly as tonal as hers. Mine came out kind of flat while hers had a distinct falling tone.

The noodles were great as was the experience of eating on the street. Mostly it was me and other Thais as foreigners walked by going to places with English menus (including one English pub that I was sitting next to). A few beggars roamed the streets stopping at tables politely asking for money and just as politely walking away when they were denied. There was very little traffic and a lovely breeze was blowing.

My noodles came in a rich broth sprinkled with cilantro and fried onions and shallots. It had minced pork and some sort of balls, maybe fish balls, maybe beef or pork, I am not sure. I'm not a fan of the balls, but they weren't bad. Total cost, 30 baht. About one dollar.

I spiced up my soup with some of the condiments on the table. There are always at least four flavors to add to Thai food. Spicy, sour, sweet or salty. Often there are other combinations of these, such as sour and spicy or salty and spicy or sweet and sour or sweet and spicy. I added some chilis and a dash of sugar.

I was enjoying my meal watching everything around me, including the pigeons rummaging through the garbage set in the gutter, when one of them rewarded me with a little dropping on my hand. I was happy it didn't land in my soup, because I was enjoying it so. I just wiped my hand off and continued eating.

From there I headed over to McDonalds which I discovered last night has a vanilla ice cream cone for 9 baht. The ice cream sales are conveniently located in a little window in the front of McDonalds which up a few stairs on Silom Road - you don't even have to go inside (Thais make their food service so convenient, which is one of the reasons I can't stop eating!)

I got a cone and as I did last night sat on the steps to enjoy the show on Silom Road, directly across from Patpong. As I was eating it, enjoying it so much, another bird dropped something on my leg. I simply moved further up the steps from under the tree that probably housed the little culprit and continued eating.

While last night the whole Patpong night scene was in full gear, today it was all relatively quiet. A few tuk tuk drivers waited on the street, trying to lure tourists for a tuk tuk ride with promises of anywhere from 10-40 baht per hour (until they pull out their little brochures for the sexy show or tailor or gem shopping or whatever their real destination actually is), the Skytrain zoomed by overhead, reminding me that it is there (I had forgotten) and a few pedestrians wandered about - nothing compared to what it would be like later tonight, well into the early hours of the morning.

Bangkok seemed a bit sad today, knowing that I am leaving. Or perhaps I was projecting my own feelings on to the city that felt kind of deserted on this Sunday.

After all of the sights I visited in Europe and my two weeks in Bali, I have to say that Bangkok was my favorite place of all. It might be because it is familiar to me, though I still feel like I am not anywhere close to knowing it, This trip was as much of a trip of discovery as it was returning to an old favorite. What I found was that Bangkok has many charms, beyond the most obvious. The food, the culture, the ayurvedic view of the body/health (including massage) and the friendliness of the people make it a place I want to return to again and again. I certainly cannot say that about Seville or even Amsterdam.

And so, to reluctantly quote our governor, Mr. Arnold Schwarzeneger (I don't know how to spell his name) - Bangkok, "I'll be back!" I hope that when I return, I come with the intention of seeing Bangkok not as a stopover, but as a destination, with my phrasebook in hand and a willingness to continue to venture beyond the safe and easy to continue to peel back the layers of this fascinating city.

Ready to go...

Someone once said to me that no matter how long you are in a place, when you know you are going to be leaving, you feel ready to go. I'm ready to go.

I've had a great time in Bangkok. I have mostly been enjoying walking the backstreets and seeing the life that is hidden from most tourists on the main drags. I just love seeing all of the little carts selling all kinds of wonderful food with makeshift restaurants set up with little plastic tables and chairs. I've decided that the main roads are for cars and tourists, the back streets are for people. And since I enjoy seeing Thai people more than tourists and cars, I just love the back streets.

Today I would have been perfectly content to stay in my room, but I had to leave so the maid could do her thing (one of the disadvantages of staying in a hotel, even though clean towels and sheets every day are kind of nice...and wasteful). I walked to Silom Center, again taking the back streets. I stopped and bought some fried bananas.

At Silom Center I was looking for some shirts similar to those I bought when I was here in April 2008. They are very light cotton and have a square bottom, which means they are perfect for really hot weather and don't need to be tucked in. I brought them with me to Korea this past summer and they were great for a situation where I had to kind of dress up and it was incredibly hot.

Only, I guess they were "summer" shirts and unbelievably, they now have sweatshirts and long sleeve shirts on display in the stores now. I mean, it went up to 95 yesterday. It is hardly sweatshirt weather!

From there I walked a little on Silom and stumbled across a Thai Massage place. I think it is called Sabai Thai Massage. They had a Thai massage for 200 baht. I was looking for a way to kill some time before lunch (it was too early) and went in.

The massage was great. I've noticed I moan a lot now when I get massage. It just feels so good because my body is all loose and it doesn't hurt and the stretching just feels good. I wish I could get several massages per day. Well, actually I could. Now the thing is when I get home I need to continue to stretch to build on the flexibility I've attained in this past week.

After my very cheap massage (200 baht = $6.00), I went and had lunch. I went to this little hot pot place that I like. I've been there a few times with Bank. Their soup is very good. But hot pot is not a thing to get alone (at least I don't think it is) so I ordered grilled beef salad and green papaya salad. Now I am thinking that maybe this hot pot place is an I-san restaurant (on the fancy side), since they had several I-san dishes I recognized. I like it better than the Chinese place Bank and I went to the other day.

After lunch, I walked around some more back streets, avoiding eye contact with all of the men who were calling out to me (they all wanted me to go see shows or get massage) until finally a tuk tuk driver pulled up next to me. I don't know why I spoke to him because I should have known what he was up to - no good....

I was not very far from my hotel. I was thinking a nice ride around in a tuk tuk would be fun, but I know that doesn't exist. But when he pulled up next to me and called out to me, I turned to look.

He said something about driving around. I told him no. Then he pulled out a pamphlet and showed it to me. It had a bunch of scantily clad women. I don't know if it was for a massage or a show or what. It turned out that is what he was selling - not a ride in his tuk tuk.

I decided to be bold with him because if I just told him I wasn't interested, he would have persisted.

I said, "I don't like lady", and kept walking.

He was stunned for a moment and said, "what you like?"

I was waiting for him to pull up beside me with a pamphlet with scantily clad men, but instead it took him some time before he finally moved. Maybe he was in shock?

When he did start his tuk tuk he passed by me without another word. It turned out, in this instance, simply stating the fact that I am gay (in a rather roundabout way) was the perfect way to get this tuk tuk driver to back off. Something tells me though, that it probably won't work with all of them.

Cutey and Beauty

I'm taking advantage of these last few days of pampering. I mean, what else can I do?

I decided to try a gay salon for my final facial instead of the really cold, slightly uncomfortable MBK experience. I was glad I changed.

I went to Beauty and Cutey, or Cutey and Beauty, I can't remember the order. It's located on the third floor of Thaniya Plaza, this weird Japanese-oriented shopping center that mostly has golf supplies - clothes, clubs, etc. I'm not sure how Beauty and Cutey ended up there.

I walked in and was greeted by a cutey who offered me coffee or tea. I got a glass of water and was then led into a little room for my facial.

It was one of the best facials I've ever had. The guy who did it was a young guy named Tong or Tong, or Toon or Doon, I can't remember. He did the usual steps that most facials include, different creams, cleansers, masks, peels, etc, but at one point his fingers felt like they were playing the harp on my face. It was incredible. He just kept massaging and massaging using all of his fingers. I've never had anything like that done before. And at about $15,it was quite the bargain.

When we finished, I was led back out into the salon. Several men were waiting and chatting, one guy was sitting in a chair with dye in his hair, and another was getting a haircut. And then there she was. I don't know who this guy was, but it is amazing to me that a person could dress the way he did and not get second looks, but again, the Thais seem to be impervious to the strange collections of foreigners that visit their country.

This guy was wearing a shirt that was electric blue and had bright pink and yellow strips of fabric sewn on it. He was wearing little square, yellow glasses, tight jeans and yellow high top converse sneakers. When he went to pay he pulled out a furry pink wallet. Oh, and he had a blue scarf tied around his neck and a yellow t-shirt under the electric blue shirt. He was like a walking neon sign.

When I came out he was getting a manicure, with polish, of course (but not yellow or pink, just clear). He said, "good idea" when he saw me sit next to him for my mani-pedi.

First a young cutey named Jet started on my nails and the guy who was working on the neon princess came over and did my feet when he was done. I was sitting there feeling like royalty having these two young guys working on me at the same time. And I felt so much more comfortable than I did at the place I had my original pedicure and foot massage when I first arrived. The women there were a little too pushy and I felt like they were trying to get me to go upstairs for more. Here, I felt comfortable in the hands of two cute young gay men and there was no sexual tension (though the guy doing my feet seemed a little flirty in a funny Thai way).

From there I went to Silom Center for lunch. I ate in the food court that is my little secret, though I do see a few foreigners there once in a while. I had fried chicken and rice with a nice soup and a thai desert - sweet potato and corn in coconut milk with shaved ice. It's one of my favorite deserts and always feels so refreshing and not terribly unhealthy.

I went to the basement of Silom Center to buy some chili oil, one thing I forgot to pick up. It's nice to dribble a little on tom ka gai (coconut milk with chicken soup), but as luck would have it, Tops didn't sell it! I am getting so fed up with Tops. I know I saw it yesterday at Tokyu, so I guess I will need to make a trip there tomorrow if I really want it.

I was expecting Ken or Bank to contact me but neither one did, so it looked like I had the evening off. In the four months I've been traveling, this is the only place that I actually have made any friends, and good ones too. Ken has been amazing driving me around and trying to show me parts of Bangkok that I have never seen before, and Bank is an old friend and I love his sense of humor. I'm so happy that he has found someone who is taking good care of him and hope the US will give him a visa and allow him to visit SF with his boyfriend next month. But since neither one of them contacted me, and I was feeling like I needed an evening of rest, I didn't try to contact either one of them and instead took a nice nap when I got back to my hotel.

After my nap, it was time to eat again (seems like all I do). I left my hotel and walked up Soi Phipat, the street that runs from the Skytrain Station to the other end of my "block" to Soi Convent. Along the way I got curious about this little winding street that veered off to the left. I've passed it many times and I was wondering where it would take me, especially now that I am realizing that this little world within the sois is in a way like a hidden world.

I walked down this little street which was really only big enough for a motorbike and had no traffic. Old style Thai houses with lots of pots filled with big luscious plants lined both sides of the street. Doors and windows were open. Some shops were open and others had closed up. A radio playing American country music blared (I think it was Hank Williams or someone like that). The whole thing seemed so surreal. I walked under a very big banyan tree with its roots hanging down to the street and came to a dead end, where girls and boys were lifting weights with an old man sitting in a chair yelling directions at them. Wow. Talk about stumbling on a hidden world.

It seemed like I could go no further, so I turned around and retraced my steps, past the banyan tree, the country music and on to Soi Phipat where there was more life, and finally to Soi Convent clogged with traffic. From there I walked to Silom Road which was packed with people, the road clogged with cars just sitting and going nowhere. It was hard to believe that just a few steps away past the banyan tree lay another world of boys and girls lifting weights with an old many yelling directions at them.

I often wish I had a device attached to my eyes that when I blink a certain way, I could take a photo of the things I see. I've seen so many interesting people but don't just want to point my camera at people unaware, and if I were to ask their permission to photograph them, it would completely spoil the shot. So I guess these images I've seen, especially walking down the sois, are for my eyes only and anyone who wants to see them will just have to come to Bangkok and get off the main streets.

And so my last weekend in Bangkok approaches and I am seriously considering returning to Thailand for my next sabbatical, and thinking this might be a place I could retire. I would not be able to have anything resembling a decent life in the US, but here, on my retirement salary, I could live quite well, and it seems I would easily be able to make friends, have access to wonderful massages and services and get decent medical care. There seem to be quite a number of long-term foreigners in Thailand and they seem quite happy.

But for the moment I have the problem of getting my new suitcase to close and lock. It is entirely full of Thai cooking supplies - curry pastes, herbs, and a new wooden pestle. But I can't get the stupid thing to close. I'm going to have to unpack it and see if I can do a better job of packing. And I guess that bottle of chili oil will have to wait until my next trip.

Makro!

It's funny the things that get me excited. Kind of strange, actually. But I guess at heart, I am a shameless capitalist consumer.

Today was another hot day, and I've been fighting a sore throat which I think was caused by sleeping directly under the air-conditioning vent. I solved that problem by changing the position of the bed and the sofa in my room, so now the air-con blows on the sofa, which I don't use.

I wanted to take it easy today but also needed a reason to leave my room when the maid came to clean. I didn't want to see her shock at the rearrangement of my room (I did inform the front desk). So I decided to continue my search for dried galangal and kaffir lime leaves so that I can make some decent curries and soups in SF.

I headed to Sukhumvit Road where I used to stay when I first started coming to Bangkok. I remembered a pretty big supermarket there where I knew I bought dried galangal and kaffir lime leaves before. I knew they also had a food court where I could eat lunch.

I took the sky train and got off at Asok station. The supermarket, Tops, was a short walk from there in the basement of Robinson Department store.

As I entered, I wasn't sure where to go at first because they had remodeled. It seemed much smaller and I knew right away that they wouldn't have what I wanted. It was even smaller than the Tops in Silom Center, and if they didn't have what I needed, this one wouldn't either. This was the third supermarket I'd been to in my quest.

Not sure what to do I decided to head to MBK and try the supermarket in the basement of the Tokyu Department Store. I got some pandan flavoring there last time I was in Bangkok and none of the other supermarkets I've been to on this trip seem to carry it, so I figured they might have these other two things I'm looking for.

I first went to the 5th floor of MBK to the International Food Court. They had Indian, Vietnamese, Thai Fusion, Vegetarian, Italian and a bunch of other choices. After walking around, I decided to try the I-san food. Though they spelled it E-saarn. I ordered fried chicken with herbs, fruits som tom and sticky rice.

The food looked great but I was a little disappointed. The idea of a som tom which is normally made with green papaya, made with different fruits was really intriguing. I couldn't wait to taste it.

It looked beautiful when I got it. It had grapes, pineapple, green apple, pomelo, tomatoes and maybe some red apple. It was sprinkled with chili powder. But the sauce was way too fishy. They had put too much fish sauce. I'm going to try to make it myself and use only a sprinkle of fish sauce (if any) and lime juice and fresh chili and maybe some cilantro. The chicken was pretty good. It was fried and sprinkled with lemon grass and other herbs.

From there I went up to the 6th floor and got some sticky rice with mango. I figured I won't have much longer to eat it so I better enjoy it while I can.

After my big lunch, I went to the basement of Tokyu.

A very annoying foreigner was asking one of the clerks questions about all of the Thai packaged spices and things. "Is this spicy?" "What is this?" "How can I use this?" Since she was answering him, I knew she spoke English. So I asked, "Do you have dried galangal?"

She gave me the same quizzical look the woman in the Tops on Sukhumvit gave me. Only since then I learned that the package of Tom Ka Gai paste I had had a picture of galangal on it. It was for that that I wanted galangal. Tom Ka Gai is a soup made with coconut milk, chicken and galangal and kaffir lime leaves. It's the galangal and kaffir lime that give the soup its bite.

So I pulled out a package of Tom Ka Gai paste I bought at the other Tops (this supermarket also turned out to be a Tops) and showed her.

She said, "fresh or dried?" I was hopeful and said, "dried". She said they only had powder.

I was disappointed but ready to try the powder, but I asked her, "where can I buy it?" and she said, "Fourth Floor, Tokyu". It seemed the Tokyu Department Store had a supermarket on the fourth floor.

So I made my way back upstairs hoping she hadn't sent me on a wild goose chase because for some cultural reason it might be better to give an answer than to say, "I don't know". But to my delight, the Tokyu did have both the kaffir lime and galangal. I bought a few bags of each plus some more curry pastes.

I came back to my hotel, laden with shopping bags and escaped the taxi drivers comments somehow. Usually when they see me with a bag they say, "oh, many shopping". These are the guys who hang outside of my hotel.

On the way home, I had stopped at Senses Spa and made an appointment with Mr. A for another foot/thai massage combo at 3 p.m. I had a little time to take a nap before my massage.

The massage was as good as yesterday. The stretches are really good for me, and Mr. A really knows how to stretch me to my limit without making it painful. I left feeling very light on my feet (again) and headed over to Silom to pick up my laundry.

By the time I got back to my hotel it was just about time for me to meet my friend Ken in the lobby. He was waiting there for me at 6.

We came up to my room and chatted a bit and waited for traffic to die down before heading out. He took me across a new bridge to another province outside of Bangkok. It was dark so it was hard to see, but he tried pointing out the fact that there were a lot of trees as opposed to the urban sprawl that is Bangkok. It was kind of hard to believe that a short drive across a bridge we were in an area that looked very rural. How had it escaped the massive development that is Bangkok?

We drove around a bit looking for a place to eat. At one point we got out and walked and I felt like a curiosity (something I do not feel in Bangkok). A group of high school girls smoking cigarettes by the river called out, "hello!!!" I ignored them because they looked like bad girls (smoking by the river and all that).

We couldn't find any food so we returned to the same I-san place we went the other night. It was again as entertaining as it was before. There were only a few foreigners there (all accompanied by Thais) and the rest were Thai people, and the dogs, and the vendors that stopped by - the little girl selling cookies, a mute woman selling little plastic key chains that buzzed and lit up, and a guy on a bike selling dried squid. A Thai soap opera was playing on two large TVs and a few guys were getting really drunk.

When we finished dinner, Ken took me to Makro.

I had told him I needed a mortar and pestle for making Som Tom (green papaya salad). The mortar you use is ceramic and the pestle is wooden. I have a stone mortar and pestle I got on my last trip here.

Makro is a huge bulk type place kind of like Costco or Jumbo or the many other big bulk places I've been to on my travels. I was like a kid in a candy store. Probably because as we entered, all there was were cookies and candy. We made our way to the back where they had a big bag of dried galangal (that I didn't buy and will now regret) and eventually found the ceramic mortars and wooden pestles.

The whole time this military type theme music was playing, M-A-K-R-O, Makro!!! It had us marching through the aisles singing along. I think it was signaling they were closing. We were the only ones I saw still shopping.

I asked Ken if I could use my stone mortar and just get a wooden pestle and he said yes. The thing about Som Tom is it is too delicate to use a stone pestle, but it seemed to me the thing you crush it with is more important than the thing you crush it in. And I didn't want to carry a big ceramic mortar and then have to figure out where I was going to store it, especially since I would probably make som tom once or twice per year.

So, I just got the wooden pestle, which looks kind of like a mini baseball bat, paid for it and as we were leaving the turned out the lights.

Unfortunately, Makro requires a membership, so if I want to go back, I'll need to go with Ken. I don't think I need to go back.

And so it was another full day in Bangkok, eating, shopping, getting massaged, and being driven around by my new friend who has a car.

But the one thing I will remember about today was my visit to Makro!

Behind the Veil

I had a nice day today with my old friend Bank. We met about 11:30 at Silom Complex, had lunch, hung out a bit and then went out for a snack later (since neither one of us really enjoyed what we had for lunch and didn't eat much).

As we were sitting in a little restaurant on Soi 3, up the street from my hotel, I told him how much I like this little neighborhood where my hotel is located. Since it is located on a soi off the main streets, it feels like my own private piece of Bangkok. There are a lot of foreigners staying in my hotel (of course) and there was some sort of hotel/residence right next to the place we were eating, yet, the life on the streets outside of the restaurant was unmistakably Thai. I like that I get to see a little bit of Thai life that is not altered or distorted for tourists' eyes like on some of the main streets.

I watched as people went to and fro, most of them returning from work, but others going or returning from shopping or running other errands. Directly outside of the window of the restaurant was another little soi and we observed several guys horsing around. It looked like they were fighting, but they were just playing. Life in the sois seems so much more relaxed and playful than life on the main streets.

It is interesting to see the way the city is laid out. I consider the two main streets, Silom and Sathorn Roads, to be the outer rings of my "block", and between those two main streets, there are several smaller streets that run parallel, but are not for cars or other vehicles that are not traveling within the boundaries of the block. I mean, it would be very difficult for anyone who was trying to go anywhere else in the city to travel through the sois. Often they end in dead ends or are blocked by pedestrians, bikes, parked cars, or vendors selling food on the streets.

So there are the two major streets and then some minor streets and within them a bunch of alleyways that get no vehicle traffic at all, but where there are various markets that come and go during the day. It's quite a web of life all within this "block" of the city.

Because I've always stayed on the main roads, I never really ventured into the sois unless I had a destination that was located on a soi. But now, since I am staying on one, and I find life on the main streets to be a bit overwhelming at times, I'm enjoying just hanging out in this inner world, and I feel like this veil which has always existed for me as far at Thailand goes, is intermittently pierced and I get to see inside the real Thailand a bit more.

I doubt that as a foreigner I will ever really experience or come close to knowing the real Thailand. I don't know if any outsider can ever really know the true essence of any other foreign culture. But I can see that by only sticking to the main touristy areas and only going to places where menus are in English and I can get by without speaking Thai, I have limited myself to only one aspect of life in Bangkok, and there is so much more to it that I cannot even begin to imagine.

After traveling around to so many different places, I think I have a much deeper appreciation for Thailand as a place to visit. The people are incredibly sweet, gentle, friendly and easygoing. They have an expression they often use that translates as "never mind". I never feel they are in any way judgemental of the many oafish foreigners (myself included) who traipse around their streets sweating, looking incredibly uncomfortable and making all kinds of cultural faux pas. They either pretend not to see us, or when they have to deal with us, it is always with a smile and a sense of total acceptance.

And then there is the food. After so many trips to Thailand I am completely ruined when it comes to eating Thai food anywhere else. From a makeshift cart on some alley to the fanciest restaurants, the food is incredibly delicious, varied, healthy, fresh and often very cheap. Other than our lunch today (we had a hot pot in this Chinese-type chain restaurant), everything that I've eaten here has been incredible. I had a delicious serving of sticky rice with mango that I picked up at the market next to the place where I got my laundry today. Later with Bank I had a really yummy pork salad with garlic, chili, lime juice, shallots and mint, and tom kha gai, coconut milk soup with chicken, galangal, kaffir lime, lemon grass and this one had some really yummy mushrooms (I took what we didn't finish to my hotel and just had it as a snack).

Between eating, there is either shopping or massage. The shopping opportunities are endless, and my quest to find a good Thai massage nearby was finally realized today when I went to a little place that just opened down the street from my hotel. I got a 2-hour massage - 1 hour foot massage which was really good, and 1 hour traditional thai massage which was not at all painful and really helped to stretch some of my tight joints. I wish I had tried it sooner and will be going back every day if I can until I leave on Monday.

I guess what I was trying to express when I started this post kind of got sidetracked, but it brings me back to an earlier thought I had before I started writing. I was thinking of my experience eating with Bank earlier and then having my feet massaged in a place that was filled with foreigners. I had gone from one side of the veil to the other. But I think one of the things I am really appreciating about Bangkok is that it allows me to do that. When I was with Ken yesterday eating I-san food and being the only foreigner, no one took a second look. No one acted like "what is HE doing here?" - I was there and no one seemed to care. And yet, I can go and pamper myself and do things that Thais might not do (in the same way). Sure they get massages, but not in fancy places like I was today (with fancy prices, that are cheap for me, but not for them). I have the ability to move between these two worlds easily, at will, as much as I like.

It's easy for me to love Bangkok because I have only done it in short doses. Unlike Seville, where I eventually got bored and tired of the heat and the noise in my neighborhood, I never get to that point with Bangkok because I am never here long enough. But I am thinking that I would like to try staying a little bit longer to see what the experience becomes like for me. I'm guessing that given the openness of the Thais and the ease with which I seem to meet people here, I will find myself having more opportunities to get to know the real Bangkok, on the other side of the veil.

A Small World

Funny how things happen. Some of my best memories in Bangkok were with a friend I met years ago named Bank. I'd always look him up when I came here and with him I did fun things like go to the movies, go bowling, etc. I always felt like I had moved beyond being a tourist and was having a more authentic Thai experience - well as much as a foreigner who did not speak any Thai could have.

Today after breakfast, I headed down Soi 3 to Silom Road. I was going to walk to Silom Center to see if the supermarket there had dried galangal and kaffir lime (part of my quest to bring back ingredients for Thai cooking).

As I was walking down the street two Thai guys approached me. One of them smiled, and said hello and punched me lightly on the shoulder as they passed. I thought they were two hustlers or something flirting with me. But as they passed, a flash of recognition hit me. I turned around and said, "hey!" It was Bank!

What are the odds that I would run into him like that on this little soi running from my hotel? The odds are even less given the fact that he is now living in Hong Kong with his Norwegian boyfriend and has been there for 5 years. No wonder it's been so long since I've seen him around. He is here to renew his passport.

Anyway, he was with a friend going to get something to eat, so we made plans to meet up tomorrow for lunch. He and his boyfriend will be in San Francisco next month and I look forward to showing him around a bit.

I didn't have any luck with my shopping excursion, so after lunch, I came back and rested.

Yesterday I met an interesting Thai guy and we made plans to meet tonight for dinner. He speaks fair English (sometimes I have a hard time with his pronunciation) - he is close to my age (but looks much younger) and I found out today he is a police officer. He's also gay, which is why he approached me when he saw me :)

Anyway, tonight we met and he drove me in his car (!) to an outdoor restaurant where we could have I-san food. I-san is a region in Northeast Thailand near Laos. Culturally, I think they are very close to Laos, and the food is often compared to Lao food (by Thais). It is known for being very spicy. Some of my favorite Thai dishes are from I-san.

As we were driving there, Ken (that's his name) asked me if I knew I-san food. I mentioned a few things I knew - Yam Nuea (a beef salad I love) and Laab Gai (minced chicken with shallots, coriander and mint that is served with cabbage and other raw vegetables). He also named Som Tam (green papaya salad). When I said I liked that, he said, "so we have our menu".

We arrived at this place which is not too far from my hotel, but not a place I would have gone on my own. I was the only foreigner there at first (one other white guy arrived later with a Thai woman). Ken ordered and instead of the chicken laab, he got a roasted chicken (half).

The food was delicious. The chicken had been grilled to perfection with the outside crispy and the inside tender and moist. It had been stuffed with herbs and had a delicious smoky flavor to it. It came with two chili sauces, one sweet and hot, and the other sour and hot (but neither too hot). We also got the beef salad and papaya salad. The total for all of that came to 190 baht - less than $6.00.

Ken was really worried I wouldn't like the place, but I loved it. I got to observe Thais in a more natural setting. There were groups of co-workers drinking and eating together as well as some families. A woman walked around selling lottery tickets and a little girl had some cookies she tried desperately to sell (she came to our table twice). Soon a guy honking a horn came up on a bicycle and sat there for a bit selling desserts. It was nice to be away from the tourist trail and all that comes with that (inflated prices, aggressive taxi drivers, etc.)

From there Ken told me he was taking me to a different place. I had no idea where we were going. We crossed the bridge and went from Bangkok to Thonburi, on the other side of the river. I've always seen it from the boats on the river, but have never been there. It was like an older version of Bangkok and a little more low-key. We went to a new apartment building and Ken took me to the 33rd floor to show me a new apartment he had just bought. From his balcony we could see a beautiful view of the river, the Oriental Hotel and further down Wat Arun (the temple of the dawn). It was a really lovely experience. He is not living there because he said it is too far for him to commute (he lives near my hotel). In Bangkok it can take forever to move just a few blocks in rush hour traffic. He said he wants to rent it out. I thought it would be a perfect place for someone in Bangkok for a short time. I myself was looking for a furnished vacation apartment (though I don't know if I'd want to be in Thonburi, not speaking any Thai). I told Ken I would help him post an ad on Craigslist.

I'm so happy that I ran into Bank and will see him tomorrow and that I have a new friend in Bangkok who is willing to show me around and allow me to have a little bit more of an authentic experience. It's times like these, when I get to see the real Thailand, that I really think I could live here long term. If nothing else, I would be assured to always have wonderful, cheap food available any time of day or night!

I have no patience for bargaining

I went to MBK today after dropping off my laundry. I had a nice lunch in the food court - some pork and rice and green papaya salad and then sticky rice with mango for desert - all for less than $5. It was quite a splurge, since usually I don't even spend $3 at MBK for lunch.

Afterwards, I went exploring all of the booths on the 6th floor which seem mostly geared towards foreigners. They have a lot of junk. Cheap Buddha statues that don't look very serene, candles and candle holders, silk scarves and pashminas (I don't know what a pashmina is), clothes, etc.

I was looking at a t-shirt for my great-niece Emma. It was cute, it said Thailand on it and had a picture of a tuk tuk. I asked the woman how much it was and she said 300 baht. It seemed expensive to me. I think she said she would go down to 250. I told her I would pay 200 and she said it was too low. I walked away, thinking she would say, "okay, okay, 200", but she didn't.

Then I found the luggage place and saw the same style of luggage I bought on Silom Rd last night. It was priced at 1650. I paid 1400. As I was looking at it, the woman who ran the "shop" came over and said, "I can discount". I asked, "how much?" and she took out her calculator and punched in 1400.

I told her I bought it on Silom last night for the same price. "Good price, right?" I asked. She said, "you want this color?" I told her I already had one. I said, "I wanted the big one" and she said, "you want this color?" I finally said, "maybe next time" and she smiled as I walked away.

I wasn't really seeing anything worth buying and I so wanted to buy something. Unlike the weekend market, this shopping area was nicely air-conditioned, so it was a pleasure to walk around. I just wished they had more things of quality like at the weekend market. There were more things there that I would have bought if I could have withstood the heat.

I passed on little table that had some magnets on it. I picked up a package of about 6 little magnets that were little bamboo baskets of dim sum. The woman came over with her calculator.

I asked, "how much?" and she punched in 380. She was speaking in a very low voice so I couldn't really hear her, but I got that she was saying she could discount for me, especially if I bought more than one. "How many you buy?" she asked.

I told her it was too expensive. I mean, she was asking more than 10 dollars for this little collection of magnets that were basically junk. I think she went down to 300, which was still too much. I would have paid 100 for them.

She kept asking me how much I would pay, but I just wanted her to tell me what the real price was and to stop this little game of zeroing in on the lowest price she would sell them to me for. Finally, I decided I didn't need them. I mean, they weren't even Thai food, they were Chinese, so why would I buy them in Thailand? As I walked away, she kept insisting that I tell her my price. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous and realize that I am just not into bargaining they way I once was.

When I was in Sumatra, it was fun to bargain. I think because the Indonesians made it fun and also because things were really cheap. But, I ended up buying a lot of stuff I didn't really want or need because of the fun of bargaining. But now, I don't know if it is because I am older, or I am tired, or it is hot, or what, but I really have no patience for bargaining. I'd prefer a fixed price and then I will make a decision as to whether or not to buy based on that price.

In the States it is said by some that if you have to ask the price it means you can't afford it, but here, if you ask the price, usually it is not the real price and it just seems to me that a lot of people end up overpaying for things.